The most important tips to keep your marriage or relationship on fiyah, heaux!

Okay, heaux, so you're in one of your moods and you think your man really cares? Pfft. He's probably glad you're quiet, for once, and off reading your latest Jennifer Weiner bible. Well, just when you think you've had enough and you're 'gonna show him'...cool off, 'drank' some wine and think about these tips:

-We all like to laugh and so does your significant other. Laugh sometimes, heaux. It won't kill you. Nobody, and I mean nobody, likes to be around someone who complains all the time and never has a joke or funny story to tell. Bottom line: Life is too short. Suck it up and smile for goodness sake.

-We all like to be held, even though your lover may act like a squirmy baby at times, it doesn't mean we ever grow out of that need. Touch is great. Think about how you feel after time spent away, you grope each other like monkeys upon return. Or when you hug a child that you needs that love. So...touch each other every day. Have sex as much as possible. Like, at least everyday, heaux. It won't kill you. Bottom line: We all need human interaction. enjoy that interaction with someone you love. Feel me, heaux?

-You thought that was it, heaux? Some of you are probably having panic attacks right now or reaching for your aspirin aka Xanax, but there's just one more thing. Date one another forever. Indefinitely. Always be girlfriend and boyfriend, or however it is you get down. I'm for equal rights. Bottom line: Get dressed up or down, meet up and see what happens!

#ChantelleWinnie, I adore you. Yes, I do, heaux.

This beautiful photo of Chanetelle Harlow aka @winnieharlow, is simply stunning. She's angelic, solid and glowing like a golden Rorsharch test. Damn, heaux. You're beautiful, you ANTM, you.

Check her out, fa sho. She's a heaux on the move and from the looks of it, she doesn't need our help but our support of her extroidinary beauty can't hurt. Come on, heaux.

Dancing with your S.O....I love ya like XO...heaux.

Took the hubs to a hip hop class last night and he turned up. My heaux Jen and I wanted to try the class and since Greene thinks he's a break dancer (at heart!), he tagged along. Gotta love that support and commitment, heaux.

He went hard and stayed more focused than we did. So, heaux, why am I writing this? Really, it should be obvious. Do things you love with people you love; it's that simple.

Not only does it strengthen your bond, it creates memories. I don't know about you heaux but I have everything I NEED. Everything I want comes in time and at this point in my life, I spend money to create memories, not to brag or show off.

So, what do you do with your significant other to make life more enjoyable? Tell me, heaux, so I can stay married a LOOOOOONNNGGG time?

Check out all the happenings at Dogtown Dance Theater, located in the heart of RVA. Who knows? You may catch me starting a class...

Orange and Sand

Orange you glad it's summa, heaux?

Me, too, but I love fall more than any other season, so why not mix the two? Wear this beauty of an #ootd now and later. The twofer of a gal that I am would not have it any other way.

The reason this looks so damn good is because anybody, and I mean anybody looks good in orange-in the summer. The tan heels complement any skin tone and the PVC piping keeps them fresh and wearable any time of the year. I kneaux what I am talking about, heaux. Add gold accessories and you're done; plus you'll look one hundred!

Of course, nobody I kneaux can afford this Stella dress and Charlotte Olympia heels, but a heaux can dream.

Now, for a more affordable option, heaux. Check out this look: Anthropologie Tangello Dress these with Pour La Victoire heels. Life! If your wallet is screaming obsenities at you, buy the dress and go with either of these very affordable Sam Edelmans.

 Forever 21's cute, little persimmon frock works well  for all you thrifty heauxs. I'm almost positive they have a nude wedge or heel waiting on ya.

Now, now, now, I didn't say cheap, we're talking classy and well-made. I ain't crazy.

Jeans, a silky orange top and tan sandals work well, too. More my speed.

Vajacial? Vagacial? You heauxs are at it again!

What deaux you kneaux? Some of us heauxs are buying vagacial  packages at salons across the universe.(it's such a new concept to those of us not living in NY or LA; I'm not sure anyone knows the correct spelling, just yet!) A facial for your vajayjay, heaux!

I hope you're smiling as you read this because you just can't believe it's real, for one, and two; you can't believe there are heauxs out here spending cold hard cash on a vajacial. There are tons of real accounts out here on the web detailing this most interesting spa treatment. Does it ensure relaxation, you tell me.

Are you one the aforementioned heauxs? Tell me more about it. Is it prettier, softer, more manageable after the first application or treatment?

Happy Sunday, heaux!

What's your patience level?

Seriously, does anything irk you more than not being able to locate the start of the tape, toilet paper? Do you just rip it a new one? Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't. Heaux, be honest. Take this quiz if you need clarification. Again, heaux...be honest.

My results: Right on point!

Still Practicing Patience

Your life is chaotic, but you've found ways to deal with it. Even though you feel like lambasting everyone around you, you have found ways to deal with problems without rocking too many boats. You know your limits and what you have to do to take care of life's little irritations. Even though you have your ducks in a row, you could do with a vacation. Life has a way of unraveling itself, especially for those who are trying so desperately to hold it all together. Learn to take a deep breath now and then. Enjoy little moments, and remember that your world won't fall apart if a few things do not go according to plan.

Ummm, follow me on Instagram.

You knew it was coming, dammit. You did. Follow me on the gram @vcrenshawgreene. You'll be glad ya did!

Tanning beds for light therapy? Yes, Heaux!

White heauxs, white heauxs, here ye, here ye. Just kidding. This is for everyone but I just figure white ladies will get a kick out of this since so many of us spend gazillions every year, paying to roast and toast. I long stopped tanning because it's, well, dumb. I don't know who I was trying to impress or why I wanted to stay tan in the winter, so I just cut it out; cold turkey.

I missed the cozy feeling and cocoon-like structure so I looked in to red-light therapy, often used at tanning bed facilities. My first search returned articles that told me just what white heaux wanted to hear. A few minutes every other day won't hurt ya but tanning every day for twenty minutes, or longer, will. Just take a look at the ladies who tan naturally and the ones who do it for show, like they're bodybuilding heauxs. If you're a lululemon heaux like me, rock it. Rock your weave too, heaux!

Why I am a #sunbum and you should be, too.

While vacationing in the Rodanthe NC, aka The Middle of Nowhere, I discovered Sunbum Suncare Products while riding on my bike for far too long with a forgotten reapplication of sunscreen before leaving on said bike trek. All of the products are bomb, but the clear zinc is my FAVE. It goes on white but dries. No more looking like a football player or a child of an overprotective mother. Seriously, literally, and figuratively, #trustthebum.

The smell is AHHHMAZING! My heauxs know what I mean when I say, "We need sun protection but need to smell good, too." It also leaves an amazing sheen and the after-care products are top notch. I can't say enough.

While you're purchasing products and water gear from REAL store, stop at Waterman's for a Shrimp Caesar Salad. 

What I will say is, "Sunbum, if you're reading, send me some bottles."

"Please."

My Before and After Hair...

I typically rock the short pixie in numerous variations. Here I am in Trader Joe's (I love it there!. Don't ya dig the mural? With my weave and mini-headband-turban-thingy, I am on my way to DC to chill with family , celebrate the 4th and tear up Adam's Morgan, and...Ruth Chris Happy Hour with the best barkeep in the world, Mr. Jermelle. Order the Bee's Knees! If you are staying in the area, check out the Washington Hilton

, amazing views, best breakfast buffet ever, and fireworks ALL NIGHT LONG!

Who says white heauxs can't rock a weave?

I do what I want and if it means installing a weave IN THE SUMMER, then that's what I do. Back in the day I rocked braids and had hair to my butt but after I got married...I chopped it off to T-Boz status. Yes. I sure did. I do not have children or an overly stressful job; just did it because I wanted to. Because the lady with the blonde pixie in the Chico's catalog is HOT. She is, look that heaux up.

 Well, let me get back to the post title. I now have a pixie cut and rock it like the heaux I am. I wanted something different and I mean-different. Not mermaid hair or blue streaks, a new style for me and my boo. I called my man Jermaine at Silk Hair Studio and he laced me with a wavy, Brazilian weave. White heauxs, there are SO MANY different types of weave. You just did not know. I can't blame you. There is Peruvian straight, Brazilian straight, Eurasian, and the list goes on. Do yourself a favor and consider a weave to make your life easier.--

See how fast I get off track. If you mention making my life easier, I am all about it. This weve is so easy to manage. I wash and dry like my own hair, apply very little product and head out. Very similar to my low maintenance pixie. It has been in my big head for almost two weeks now and I plan on rocking it well in to August as it was not cheap but not super expensive either.

For those of you wondering, how much? It cost about $300 but take in to account I pay almost $100 for a cut and color every 3 weeks (give or take) so it is about the same price and I can really stretch it if I return frequently for Jermaine to tighten my tracks. (Get on that track, heaux--jk!) Well, my heauxs, you get what you pay for (say it ain't so!) and hair is an art form and pretty inexpensive accessory to manage. Have fun, heaux.

Have any comments? Questions? Concerns about my not-so-tender head?